So I’ve been thinking of doing this post for a while now and I was having a conversation with some friends today and it encouraged me to finally do it.
I am currently in a place in my life that is requiring me to reflect back into parts of my past. Things that have made me who I am and reasons why I am where I am etc…
I have a very vivid memory of summer camp, I was maybe 10 years old…(I have no concept of time so I’m just guessing here…) I was really young though. I remember making a list of things I wanted to change about myself or things I hated about my body. I remember this list being long and including things like my nails. Looking back and acknowledging this is painful. i was really young and self-loathing started early evidently. I’m not sure where it came from but I’m coming to a point in my life where I’m capable of accepting my flaws and I’m able to see them as beautiful or see things that I once saw as flaws, as strengths.
In the spirit of this and a recent video I did for a friend I’m doing the opposite- I’m making a list of the things I love about my body and the amazing things that they can do.
My hair- is long and blonde and beautiful. It may get caught everywhere (like my armpit when I’m lifting or behind my back while I’m driving… but I love it.
My complexion- Is pretty clear. Sometimes when I sweat I get pimples but hey, who doesn’t? I don’t need to wear foundation or a lot of makeup because I eat healthy and my face shows it.
My shoulders, arms, and back- are strong as shit and they carry the weight of my world and they do it well. I have large traps that help me clean and snatch a lot of weight. They allow me to do dozens of muscle ups and hundreds of pullups. My shoulders may be wide but they are beautiful. And they do amazing things. My arms look ripped in tank tops and make long sleeve shirts tight but they make walking on my hands easier and pushups simple.
My hands- are more like paws because my palms are big and my fingers are normal but they fit perfectly into my boyfriends hands. I can hold on to things that other women can’t. Like pull up bars and I can hook grip the barbell quite easily. Sometimes I even accidentally hook grip my steering wheel. (And by sometimes I mean all the time.)They allow my inspiration to ooze out of my body and onto the paper when I draw and paint and take photos. They help me mold my world around me.
My stomach- is perfect. It’s insides digest all of the amazing food I put in it to nourish me. It doesn’t have a six pack (yet) Maybe soon- but I love it anyways because my abs protect my back and stabilize me during overhead squats. And really everything else I do.
My legs and A**- well hot damn, what to say about my legs. They are my support. They let me explore the mountains that I am so in love with. They allow me to snowboard and mountain bike with my friends and hike with my boyfriend. They allow me to deadlift and squat more than most guys. They allow me to jump high and run fast (well sort of fast). My boyfriend says that if I ever lose my ass he’ll leave me. I think he’s only kind of kidding. I inherited it from the Colombian side of my family and I’ve always loved it.
My feet- take me everywhere I want to go. They may not always be perfectly pedicured or have nail polish but they let me walk in 6 inch stilettos or run around in the ocean barefoot.
My nails- are long and strong- thanks to the fish oil that I take. They are great to scratch my boyfriends back (he loves it) and my dog (he also loves it).
I think learning to love myself is something that I will always be doing. Being grateful for what I CAN do and not focusing on the things that I can’t is really important- at least for me.